Church of Q
by DarkSide2377
Summary: A Star Trek story involving President Obama, the Mirror Universe, Q, and the Doomsday Machine…What could go wrong? Background: This story takes place this year, 2015, in the Mirror Universe of the Star Trek franchise. I chose to explain the Mirror Universe as what would happen to Earth if the Roman Empire never collapsed, but continued into modern times and colonized the Americas.


**Church of Q**

May 1, 2015: 10 hours to start of Operation Chaos Theory

Barack H. Obama, Commander-in-Chief of the American Empire sat at his desk, contemplating what his next move would be. The Commander was not usually an indecisive man. When a challenge presented itself, he usually used it as an opportunity to prove his resolve and resourcefulness. That was what he did when then General Obama used the disastrous failure of the War in Mesopotamia as an excuse to depose the previous Commander-in-Chief of the Empire. Now he was the leader of the world's most powerful empire and former Commander Bush was under house arrest in Texas. Though he may face a worst fate if Operation Chaos Theory, scheduled to begin in 10 hours, failed. A steady stream of advisors assured him that this was a necessary and foolproof mission; that it would be just as easy as the suppression of the Indochina peasant revolt during the early 60s. But the whole situation worried Obama's gut, and he always went with his gut. Obama turned on the television. There was a news report showing paparazzi photos of the young Emperor Constantine stumbling out of a nightclub with the latest star of the avant-garde 'scratch' music genre. Obama envied Him. As little more than a political and religious figurehead, the Emperor didn't have to concern himself with the cares of the Empire, but Obama did. John O. Brennan, the director of the Imperial Intelligence Agency entered the Oval Office.

"What do you have for me John?" Obama asked.

"We have a ... situation, sir."

"What do you mean?"

Director Brennan sets a tablet computer on the Commander's desk. The screen on the tablet shows what looks like surveillance footage of a large room filled with row after row of filing cabinets.

"This is the Hall of Records in IIA headquarters in Langley," the director states, "It contains some of the empire's most guarded secrets. It is 10 stories underground. It requires 'Above Top Secret' level clearance to even enter the room. All approaches to the room are monitored by laser monitoring and video surveillance..."

"Is there a point to this John?" the Commander asks.

"Yes, sir," Brennan presses a button on the tablet screen, causing the camera view to pan to the right and presenting Obama with a bizarre site. On a regal looking chair in between two rows of filing cabinets sat a man nonchalantly sipping tea. He was a middle aged Caucasian man, smartly dressed in a three-piece tuxedo complete with top hat and cane.

"How the hell did he get in there" Obama asked.

"We don't know yet, sir."

"Well what has he been doing there?"

"So far we haven't observed him doing anything, except sit there drinking his ... cup of tea. We don't know exactly how long he's been there. It couldn't have been more than a few hours. One of the guards first spotted him on this surveillance footage when he came in for the morning shift..."

At this moment, the dapperly dressed man looked up at the camera. He smiled … and suddenly disappeared!

"What in the name of Jupiter!" Commander Obama exclaims as the mysterious man instantly appeared sitting on the Oval Office couch in front of the Commander.

"Well! Now that I've got your attention, I guess it's time to formally introduce myself," the well dressed intruder said.

"Security!" Obama screamed. Several men in black suits and dark sunglasses burst into the room.

"Oh, there's no need for that Commander," the intruder said dismissively. He snapped his fingers and all the newly arrived security guards disappeared before they could even un-holster their weapons.

"Security!" Obama called again, "Code Seven Lockdown!"

But his calls went unanswered.

"Please, gentlemen. Sit down. We have a lot to discuss," the intruder said to a stunned Brennan and Obama. The Director sat down, but Commander Obama remained standing at his desk. Even though this stranger had just displayed frightening powers, Obama tried to give as imposing a look as he could. He had learned during his rise to power that showing weakness or fear to an enemy was often a fatal mistake.

"Who are you and what do you want?" the Commander demanded.

"_My. My._ Quite direct aren't we. I guess no one's taught your species proper manners yet," the intruder stated, "Fine then. I'll tell you who I am if you tell me one thing."

"What is that?" Obama asked.

"Is everyone around this place as big of a sour puss as you?"

The Commander was momentarily taken aback, and a little offended, by the question. But, being the resourceful leader he was, he decided on a new strategy. Perhaps the best way to get any information out of this 'person' was to appeal to his ego. Obama had seen time and again that this was often the best way to reach powerful men.

"I can see that you are a man of great intelligence and power," Obama said, "I'm honored that you would choose to visit me. _May the blessings of the gods be upon you._ How may I address you so that I may properly welcome you into my house?"

"Oh, you flatter me! Just for that I believe I'll let you in on my grand plan… But not yet. There are still a few more players to arrive for this game. They should be here ... right ...now!"

As if on cue, three men burst into the Oval Office. They were dressed in bland black and grey business suits. They had the air of being important men, filled with self-righteous fury. Or at least men who thought they were important. They were the leaders of the Imperialists, the followers of the regime Obama toppled when he seized power. If the Commander had had his way, they would have all been executed by now. But right now, these three men were still too politically powerful for even him to touch, a fact they reminded him of frequently.

"Why if it isn't the leaders of the Imperialists: the party that stands for the traditional American values of war mongering, fundamentalist religious views and shielding the rich from any form of taxation... or whatever it was your last campaign slogan said," the visitor said to the three perplexed new comers.

"Let's see. On the far left, we have Senator Mitch McConnell, majority leader of the Senate. In the middle, we have House Speaker, Representative John Boehner. And at the far right, in a strapping 3-piece double-breasted suit, we have Warmonger-in-Chief, Senator John McCain. Did I get everyone right?"

Simultaneously taken aback and annoyed by the arrival of his greatest political enemies at this odd 'meeting', Commander Obama coolly and measuredly addressed the congressmen, "Gentlemen. What brings you to my office?"

Looking a bit flustered himself, Senator McConnell responded, "Commander ... we were told that you would be meeting an important dignitary today. We thought ... that it was only proper that we be here too."

"So that you don't miss out on an opportunity to one up me?" Obama pointedly asked. Over his few years in power, the Commander had become disgusted with the petty, simple-mindedness of his rivals, the Imperialists. They lacked the vision to create grand achievements or any achievements for that matter, Obama thought.

"I find that accusation offensive," Boehner said.

The thought that the Speaker was offended by his question was the first positive development Obama saw in this entire bizarre situation. He turned to their strange interloper, who was still seated on the couch, "I suppose you had a part to play in this."

"Oh! Guilty as charged," the visitor said, playfully pointing at himself.

"And who might you be, sir?" McCain asked.

"Well … I'm known by many names on many worlds. Most of them unpronounceable by your species … Let me see … These might be familiar to you: Jehovah, Yahweh, Allah."

"Allah?" Speaker Boehner asked.

"Oh, I forgot. In your universe, Christianity and Islam had been wiped out by the Middle Ages. Let me suffice to say that I am the One Everlasting, the Eternal Father. I am God!"

"Is this a joke," Speaker Boehner chuckled.

"You doubt my divine power, you barely evolved ape?" the new 'God' said in disgust, 'Fine. I see you need a demonstration."

'God' snaped his left hand's fingers ... and the three Imperialist leaders vanished!

"By the gods!" Director Brennan exclaimed.

"There. The mood in this room is already improving."

"What did you do with those men," Obama said. He tried to add a bit of steel to his voice to showcase displeasure at what just happened. Personally, he wouldn't care if the three lawmakers had been transported into space, but giving the impression that he had just had them executed would be too risky.

"I sent them somewhere where they can cool their heels."

"Well could you possibly return them?" the Commander asked neutrally.

"Oh, if you insist," And with another snap of his fingers, the three Imperialists reappeared in the Oval Office, looking quite confused and frightened.

"What happened to you? Where did you go?" Brennan asked.

"Thailand ... I think," Senator McConnell said as if he can't believe what he just said.

"There do you require any more proof of my Godhood?"

"Which god are you?" Boehner asked, "Jupiter? Mars? Neptune?"

"Oh, heavens no!" the 'god' said, "Compared to me those plebeians are a group of circus magicians."

"That's blasphemy!" McCain shouted.

"Oh…A bit touchy, aren't we."

"There are no other gods besides the Lords of Mt. Olympus and His Devine Worshipfulness, Emperor Constantine XXVIII!"

"Oh that moron," the blasphemer said, "I have heard of him. Is he still trying to get that reality TV show started?"

Obama saw that his Imperialist colleagues were becoming quite incensed, so he thought it was best to change the subject of the conversation, before anyone else disappeared.

"So ... Let's say you are 'God'. Why have you come to visit us?" the Commander asked.

"Why, to receive my due praise, of course."

"Praise?" Obama questioned.

"Yes. Praise. Worship. Whatever you want to call it. Your culture may be unaccustomed to me, so I'll be lenient at first. I only demand 1,000 new temples devoted to my worship to be completed his month. I'll give you 2 months to complete the next 100,000."

"How generous of you," Senator McConnell quipped, "Do you have any other requests for us?"

"Ah! Still playing the Doubting Thomas, Senator. As a matter of fact there is one other commandment I require as a sign of your total devotion to me. When your holy men assemble my sayings into a new bible, you can put this somewhere in Genesis."

"And what would that be?" the Commander asks.

"About Operation Chaos Theory."

A ripple of recognition and shock shot through everyone in the room at the mention of that name.

Obama responded coolly, "What do you know about Operation Chaos Theory?"

"Oh pish posh. Never you mind about that. Just realize that as of right now that operation is over."

"What if we refuse?" McCain asked.

"Ohhhhhh! Must you do everything the hard way you insolent little cretonnes? Fine then. I wanted to avoid this, but you leave me no choice. I've tried the carrot, now I guess I'll have to try the stick."

A deadly seriousness descended on the face of the would be 'God' as he continued, "I grow tired of your rebelliousness. If you will not heed my words, then you will face my wrath. Fire will fall down on you from the skies. Your oceans will boil. Your cities will burn. Your entire existence will be utterly wiped out. If you have anything important you want to say to your loved ones, I suggest you say it soon!"

And with another snap of his fingers he was gone.

"Do you believe this garbage?" Speaker Boehner said. But after that statement, a young air force lieutenant bursts into the Oval Office.

"Commander," he said, addressing the C-in-C, "There's something I think you should see."

...

May 1, 2015: 9 hours to the start of Operation Chaos Theory

Obama, Director Brennan and the three Imperialists sat around the table in the Oval Office studying the images laid out before them. The images were taken by some of the Empire's most powerful telescopes and satellites (some of which the rest of the world wasn't even aware of). There were several different views and angles, but they all showed the same spectacular sight. Suspended in the blackness of space, there was a bright circle of flames.

"Our Global Hawk spy satellite first came across it at 0800 hours. The object is 270,000 miles from Earth and appears to be on a direct trajectory to intersect our planet in 3 hours."

"What kind of object is it?" Obama asked.

"Looks like a gods damn Rorschach test to me," Boehner stated.

"We don't know yet, sir," answered the air force lieutenant.

"Could it be a danger to the planet?" Obama asked.

"You think it could be what our 'visitor' meant by 'fire from the skies'?" Brennan responded.

"I don't know what to _think_ yet."

"You can't actually believe any of this?" Senator McConnell continued, "It's utter blasphemy to believe that this man could be one of the gods. The only god on Earth is His Divine Majesty, the Emperor. It must be a hoax."

Director Brennan demanded, "Then how did he know about Operation Chaos Theory?"

"Yes. How did he know about Operation Chaos Theory, Commander?" Boehner questioned, "The top secret plan for an air raid on the Persian Empire. An attack you, Commander, have expressed reservations about."

Obama stepped up to the Speaker and gave him a menacing stare, "Are you suggesting that I may have leaked information about the raid? That this meeting is all an elaborate plot I concocted to sabotage the mission?"

Boehner backed away, somewhat intimidated, but responded defensively, "Like you said 'I don't know what to think yet'."

Obama looked around the room slowly, looking at each man in the room. He settles his determined gaze on squarely on Boehner, "All I know is that there is a potential threat to the Empire. And I will do whatever is necessary to neutralize it."

And with that the Commander in Chief turned and abruptly left the Oval Office.

"There, gentlemen. Right from the horse's mouth: blasphemy," Boehner said.

Senator McConnell looked intrigued, "What do you mean?"

"You all saw it. He pretty much admitted that this was all a plot to scrap Operation Chaos Theory."

"You can't prove that," Director Brennan shot back.

"But it's true that the Commander never had much enthusiasm for this operation. Now he conveniently has an excuse to cancel it," McCain chimed in, "And to think he would blaspheme the name of the gods with this imposter.

"But we all saw what happened to you three," Brennan said, reminding the Imperialists of their 'trip' to Thailand.

"Well… We could have been drugged and flow out in an unmarked charter jet and flown back for all we know. We might have been out for days. It's still Wednesday isn't it?"

Boehner cut in, "Director, you know of the importance of this operation. We cannot allow the Persians to develop nuclear weapons. They represent an existential threat to our oil ….. I mean Middle Eastern interests. We cannot delay on this."

"But he didn't say he was going to follow 'God's' commandment."

"But he didn't rule it out, did he?"

"No."

"Well, That's enough for me," Boehner said, "I'm afraid Commander Obama has finally overstepped his bounds."

Brennan sighed, "Yes ... I believe you're right."

"How soon can you have a legion of marines here. Men who can be trusted?" McConnell asked.

"I can have them here in three hours," Brennan said reluctantly.

"Good. I believe it is time for Commander Obama to go into permanent retirement."

...

Obama returned later that afternoon. When he arrived, he was greeted by the three Imperialist leaders, Director Brennan and a dozen armed soldiers.

"What's the meaning of this?" Obama carefully questioned.

"The meaning should be quite clear, Commander," McCain interjected, "It's over. You've gone too far this time. Jeopardizing the security of the Empire by threatening to cancel an important military operation; committing blasphemy against the gods. Your reign of terror as Commander in Chief is over. These soldiers are here to assist you in your … _retirement_"

"Is that what you think, gentlemen?" Obama stated as he eyed his would be over throwers. Something outside the window caught his eye. The wind had begun to pick up. The sky was darkening, but the bright red orb of the sun still shown clearly … But Obama realized that wasn't the sun! It was a swirling circle of flames. It looked like a giant mouth of fire, ready to shallow the Earth whole.

Obama calmly stepped over to his desk in the Oval Office (too calmly for someone about to be deposed and quite likely executed), and continued, "I figured you might say something like this. But before you make any hasty decisions, I have something I think you ought to see."

The Commander turned on the television. Emperor Constantine was giving an interview: " … As I said earlier, all of this talk about attacking the Persians … it's nonsense. I've never heard a more horrible idea. If we bombed the Persians, where would I get the rugs for my mansion? …"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Boehner asked.

Brennan responded, "It means that the Emperor opposes Operation Chaos Theory."

"So?"

"The Emperor is a god on Earth. His Words are commands from heaven," Brennan said incredulously.

McConnell laughed nervously, "Oh ... of course His Words are commands from heaven. But you know the Emperor is a bit ... eccentric. He doesn't always mean what He says."

Brennan shook his head, "I'm sorry, gentlemen. But I am a strong believer in the divine purpose of the Emperor. This coup d'état was supposed to be in the service of His wishes. But that appears not to be the case. Therefore I cannot support it."

"You can't be serious," McCain asked, "Emperor Constantine is an idiot! We only keep Him around because the superstitious fools out there believe in Him!"

Brennan gave the Senator a cold look, "That sounds an awful lot like blasphemy … I thought you gentlemen were supposed to be the most loyal followers of His Imperial Majesty. I see that's not the case. I think I know who needs to be 'retired' here."

Brennan turned to his troops, "Sergeant, take these men into custody."

"Now wait just one minute! ….." Boehner begins to protest. But he and the rest of the Imperialist were hustled out of the room by the soldiers before he could finish.

Brennan went over to the Oval Office phone and made a call, "CentCom. This is Director Brennan… Yes…Cancel Operation Chaos Theory. Repeat. Cancel Operation Chaos Theory."

Obama stared out the window again and saw that the sky has returned to normal and the disk of flames was gone. He allowed himself a small smile of satisfaction.

...

May 1, 2015: Operation Chaos Theory indefinitely postponed

Obama sat alone in his office. Or at least he thought he was alone.

"So did you miss me?" a voice said, giving Obama a slight scare until he turned around and realized who said it. Sitting on the couch in front of him was the mysterious 'visitor' from earlier.

"Oh. It's you," Obama quiped, "I'm judging that you have decided not to bathe our planet in flames."

"Yes. I believe you have adequately carried out my commands. Though I was curious about one thing. How did you get the Emperor to denounce the invasion plans on air?"

"Simple. The Emperor wanted his own reality TV show, but he had already exhausted the royal treasury. I agreed to 'divert' funds from certain government agencies to finance his show. I also set him up with prime airtime on several of our major networks. I knew if it even looked like I was going to follow your 'advice', the Imperialists wouldn't waste an opportunity to topple me. So I had to have an insurance policy."

"Oh … Bravo! Well played. I bet your Imperialist friends never saw that one coming. Where are those gas bags anyway?"

"Oh, yes. They 'volunteered' to try out the Empire's latest interrogation device. It's a machine that directly stimulates the pain receptors in the brain without harming the body. The army chiefs have nicknamed it 'the agony chair'."

"Now wasn't that awful nice of those gas bags…Maybe that will teach them a sense of humor."

The Commander looked puzzled, "What was that thing you sent after us?"

"Oh my little 'Doomsday Machine'? That was just something I picked up on the way home one day. What you should be wondering is why I had you cancel your little operation. Here."

The visitor snapped his fingers and a letter appeared in his left hand. He handed it to Obama, "Read this."

Obama scanned over the document, "This is a press release from the Persians ... It states that they will be announcing their admission to the East Asian Economic Cooperative!"

The stranger responded, "Yes. They signed the agreement Monday. They were going to announce it tomorrow at a press conference…. Sort of a surprise party. The point is that the Persians became a part of the EAEC's mutual defense compact when the agreement was signed Monday. If you had bombed them today ..."

"We would have started World War III," Obama completed his guest's sentence.

"Yes. Talk about _bathing in fire_!"

"Just so you'll know, I didn't do what I did today because I'm a pacifist or I believe in any higher power," Obama stated, "I did what I felt would best preserve the Empire."

"And you think _I_ did all of this out of the generosity of my heart?" the being asked, "I have plans for your species. You may be nothing more than a dangerously savage child race right now. But under _my_ guidance you could control an empire that spans the stars. Of course that would be pretty difficult if you reduced each other to radioactive dust before you leave your pathetic little solar system."

"Very well. So how do you wish to be addressed: _The Almighty God_ or just _God_ for short?"

"Oh, nothing that presumptuous. Call me _Q_."

THE END


End file.
